Greetings, Again, my fellow no-life blog readers,
I am hoping that with my first official update, I can shed some light and entertainment into your own lives, then at least some good will come from my personal drama!!
So providing you are reading my blogs in order, you are properly acquainted with my complicated history with Jay, things got better and more relaxed when he changed his mind about moving to Minnesota. Things got much better. Fighting got dialed back to a minimum. Instead we had some solid heart-to-hearts. I helped him to understand my thought process. To the best of my abilities.
Anyways, for the most part the drama between me and Jay had simmered down. I cut Hayes out of my life because he played a huge role in where the problems between me and Jay stemmed from. He was a conflict of interest. He apparently had feelings for me. So he gave me shitty advice that fucked up what I was trying to build with Jay.
Then, a few months later, I believe it was summer of 2024, early summer. And one of the friends I had added on snap, that I knew from high school, snapped me, and started flirting with me. It was nice. By this time I didn't feel particularly wanted, or needed; desired. Jay still refused to give me what I wanted with him, I flirt back. C.B. Sinfully hot. One picture of him in so much as a t-shirt and shorts. It has me melting from the intense heat that radiates off of his pictures alone.
The flirting was an on and off thing. Or so I thought anyways. I kept all of my focus on Jay, and trying to work something out with him. Trying to take that aforementioned connection to the next level. To no fucking avail. The guy pisses me off. And I continue to persevere through all the emotions that hit me from the feeling of constant rejection. From not being good enough. I kept telling myself he's different from the other guys out there, that he isn't trying to take advantage of me. Or track me down through my location settings on the Snap map. (Very long story that I do not much care to repeat whatsoever).
Nearer the end of Summer 2024, C.B. sends me another flirty message, and I guess it goes a step further, a little more "intimate" if you catch my drift. At this point it still feels pretty surreal to me, why of all people who could have reached out in this context, HE did. I always considered him far out of my league. I'm not saying I'm not beautiful. But our social circles never quite overlapped, we never really interacted with each other and I had a hunch he spent more of his time with people within the circle of athleticism, which I am so far away from on the social radar.
We stopped talking again, as it felt like things with Jay were getting better, taking a turn for the better. So once again, I focused all of my energy into that, just to face yet another disappointment. December 2024. C.B. reaches out to me AGAIN. He offered to hang out, and he insinuated other potential activities by his way of words. I respond, "Yeah, i'm sorry, but I don't really do casual, oh and also, I kind of have a complicated thing going with someone else." He sends me the most damning selfie of him, with the text that reads "I don't want casual with you" and my jaw almost hit the floor. He went on to explain why he would want to pursue an actual relationship with me. And if I hadn't been a hot puddle already, I sure as fuck was at that.
He eventually went on to explain to me that he has been waiting for me. How there was absolutely nobody else that he was talking to, or had any interest in. I had never asked for that information. He offered it on his own. If I were insecure about shit with Jay, I had to ask him, and he had to make me feel guilty as fuck by asking me if I want proof. I respected the gesture, don't get me wrong, but I didn't quite appreciate the hint of condescension that I was picking up from his response either.
C.B. has made it clear from that point forward that he WANTED me. Hell, once he said that he NEEDED me, but judging by the context leading up to that statement, I don't think it was meant in the way I initially took it to mean. It was in that moment that I realized I now have a big choice to make. I was in a love triangle. I love Jay, C.B. likes me, I like C.B. Never in a hundred years did I ever think I, Brit Layne, would ever be in a situation to have to choose. EVER. And let me tell you from firsthand experience, it's hot in the movies, in them cheesy romance tv shows such as TVD. It is emotional hell when you're the one in it though, because you have to decide who you want to hurt, when you care deeply about them both as it is
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