Thursday, March 20th, 2025

Dear beloved snoopy Susies,

UPDATE ON THE CASUAL CONVERSATION EXPERIMENT:

# DAYS INTO THE EXPERIMENT: 3

# CONSECUTIVE DAYS WE CONSISTENTLY SPOKE: 3

OFFICIAL DAILY UPDATE: 

As I had figured over the last couple of days, C.B. and I haven't spoken as much today, I guess he's down in Georgia for someone's wedding, most likely a cousin. Far as I know, which isn't much, he doesn't have any siblings, I'm not the kind to ask for information that I don't feel is important to me.

Though, when we weren't talking, we did exchange a few selfies, which was somewhat of a bummer, but it's not as if we didn't exchange any words period. Plus, he was smiling in his selfies, and I won't ever tell him this, but his smile does things to me.

He will be in Georgia until Sunday evening, and I hope he enjoys himself, he deserves to relax before his spring break ends. His 15 some assignments couldn't have done too much in that department. Stay tuned for more updates.

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As for the Jay situation, well, we're still in some relatively rough waters, I want to be a mature adult with him, but fuck is that hard right now. I love the man. Or at least I'm 80% positive that I do. But it's hard to be mature with the man who seems willing to lose his chance to be with me altogether, by not giving me a single chance. He seemed almost less bothered when I told him that, should I be in a relationship with another man, not to count on a chance from me.

The one man I've loved and wanted for over 2 years, has never made me feel less wanted, needed, than he has over the last nearly 2 weeks. My heart hurts because of him. But C.B. takes my focus away from that, so I can put my focus onto things of the future. Things that aren't an entire waste of my time and energy.

Jay said something asinine to me today. Now im pissed at him for that too. I'll be up for like another 1 or 2 hours. I'll consider whether I feel like giving him any kind of slack, or apology. Even though I feel he doesn't fucking deserve one whatsoever. Not after everything he put me, and my heart, and my fucking mind through.

For tonight, however, I think this is all I have to contribute. Thank you for reading and supporting me and my crazy, dramatic, heart-wrenching life, it means a lot to me.

Yours truly,

Britlit L.A.