Monday, March 24th, 2025

 Welcome back, my blog-loving-snoops,

UPDATE ON THE CASUAL CONVERSATION EXPERIMENT:

# DAYS INTO THE EXPERIMENT: 7

# CONSECUTIVE DAYS WE CONSISTENTLY SPOKE: 6

OFFICIAL DAILY UPDATE: 

Well. I have an update for you. If I am being totally honest with you, I'm not sure how to think or feel, to what extent I may or may not be overreacting, as I do have trust issues. That can fuck with my thought processes, and believe me, it has before.

Heres' the deal. We are not dating, or in a committed relationship, C.B. is well aware of where things stand. That I have zero intent on having sex right off the bat. That, in doing it, carries more emotional value for me, versus other people who sleep around and get sexually transmitted diseases. Though, I did not say those specific words to him, just that I'm not ready to have sex.

Yesterday, I couldn't help but notice his location on the snap map-- seriously though, because I check my little brothers location for complicated reasons-- in short he's enlisted in the USMC, and his location seems to be followed by something of a question mark these days. But it had said he was presently active in my city, at 1:00 in the morning. From talking, I know he lives the next town over.

He kind of disappeared around 7:30 last night, shortly after he returned home from his trip, and didn't talk to me until close to 11:30 this morning. That second part makes sense to me, because school is officially back in session from spring break, and he does put a lot of focus into his school work. Case in point, his explanation for disappearing last week, 15 homework assignments, and who honestly knows what each assignment asked from him.

The part that does kind of raise a few question marks, is that he just seemed to disappear, I don't expect him to talk to me 24/7 either. Part of me was flipping out when I noticed his location, because my brain immediately went to, he's been flirting with me, and he's seeing some other woman??? I got pretty pissed thinking about it, and I didn't send him any follow up messages, having thought better of it.

Doing what I always do when I'm starting to get worked up over something, I turn to google, and ask why someone might be active on social media, and ignore the message I have sent them? Quora came up with quite a handful of answers, which I typically find more helpful because it is advice, and similar stories from people in the same situation. I'm attaching a list below, of some of the answers I found:

• They may only have time to reply to a couple messages
• Possibly have more important things that need to be prioritized over typical chatting
• If Snapchat is running in the background, it can display an active bitmoji
• Could have closer friends or a side-chick (didn't make me feel better last night though)

These are a few of the answers that I was able to remember, but for the most part, it helped for me to put things into perspective a bit. To be entirely honest, just writing this post to whomever may see it, im feeling more clear-headed, and definitely did overreact. On top of that, I'm patting myself on the back for having not said or done anything dumb that could have made me come off any crazier than I really am.

He did answer my question from last night, which was a basic "So, you got any fun plans on your first night back, apart from sleeping? lol" his response was "Just sleeping and went out for a bite with a friend." Typically the non-specificity of who this said friend is, would bug me, but then I remind myself, I am not his girlfriend, and he does not owe me any answers. Besides, while I am interested in him, and am attracted to him, I'm not emotionally invested to the point that I should be jealous.

So, thanks to my trust issues, and overthinking opting to work hand in hand last night, I ended up putting myself through quite the emotional ringer. I am not going to purposefully ignore C.B., I'll talk to him if he talks to me, but I'm going to give him space if talking like we have been might pressure him. Because, if he hasn't been lying to me, he is anti-social and doesn't care to socialize with other people, much like me.

Plus, I've been really hard on Jay, and I really feel awful about how I've been acting towards him, and so last night, I sent him a message and told him what was in my heart. That I want him to give me a chance, and vice versa. That we like each other, that we have a connection, and that what we have is worth figuring out, together. So today, I have been talking to him about actually setting something up, and not just talking about it and leaving it at that.

Having mentioned that we can put down boundaries, if there is anything that might make him uncomfortable, that we want to avoid when we hang out. He claims that he doesn't believe I can make him uncomfortable, and that he can't think of any specific boundaries. So come tomorrow, we are going to see what we come up with, and hopefully within the next two weeks, we will have a concrete plan. As he so conveniently pointed out last time, we didn't have a concrete plan, so technically he didn't flake.

So this time, I will be making a point to ensure that we have covered every detail, and that there are no loopholes; and there will be higher expectations this time around. I'm trying my hardest to be patient and understanding with him, but sometimes it's just, hard.

So, to recap, you just read history as it happened, I talked commonsense into myself, and actually handled my emotions in a very mature manner. Thank god I didn't totally bitch him out, that could have ended up horribly embarrassing for me, and rather offensive to him. 

As always, thank you for reading and continuing to support me on my blog-posting journey, and stay tuned for tomorrows post, it may or may not be a juicy one!

Yours truly,

Britlit L.A.