Tuesday, July 15th, 2025

 Y'all are seriously still here? I've been MIA for 2 fucking months now!!

Ahh well. You know what, I respect that level of loyalty in a person.

Welp. As always things have been  feeling really on again off again with C.B. and I. As well as with Jay and I.

Which reminds me, since last we spoke, I have somehow found myself back in the middle of a fucking love triangle.

BUT. I am ready to say fuck it. I still want C.B. despite how he gave me emotional whiplash over a month ago. He fucking waited for me. He fucking see's something in me.

He fucking makes me feel all of the things that I wish Jay had bothered to make me feel over the past 2.5 years. He didn't go anywhere when i told him that i was in the middle of something complicated with somebody else. 

He knew something I apparently didn't. Actually, "Felt" something I apparently didn't at the time, would be a more accurate way to word it.

He left me on delivered for going on 5 hours now, we have been talking about doing something today. The seemingly only catch was that I really don't know that I feel comfortable going to his house right off the bat. Home alone or not.

For me, I'm really stepping out of my shell to give him a chance, nothing against him by any means. But because I haven't spent as much time getting to know him as I've spent getting to know Jay. For me, I feel better having some kind of control, at least for the first time or two that we hang out.

I asked him what he expected from me if we got together today, and he acknowledged that he REMEMBERS/KNOWS I want to take things slow. So he wouldn't expect anything much further than h*** to happen, which is fine and reasonable.

He really has been listening to me.

So I'm fucking ready to end the whole "playing hard to get" game. I'm ready to let him get me. For us to start whatever it is that we are going to have with each other. He has more than proven himself to me. I've got to know everything I needed to know about him, and our situation.

I am going to send him another text once i wrap up this blog post, and tell him he could come over tomorrow. (Before work). We could do something after my shift tomorrow too (I'll tell him that) because I do know that he has a job too (and I'm unfamiliar with his hours).

But in any case, I'm going to tell him I'm done playing games. And I think the best way I can prove that to him is by telling him to come over. I can't flake on him when he's the one coming to me, right?

And if tomorrow doesn't work, then I'm gonna work with him to come up with an actual plan. One I can't flake on.

Plus I wouldn't put it past him to come over, and make me follow through at this point (Thats the truth)

I am swooning so hard over this man right now.

God knows I'm in trouble now

But I just can't find it in me to care at this point

Everything he has said to me, done for me.

All of it. I can't say no any more.

Anyways. I'll see y'all on the flip side!

Yours Truly,

Britlit L.A.