Picking up from where we left off last night, there really aren't any new updates or agreements between Jay and I, as of today. All we know right now is that we will hang out at my place, but we are trying to figure out the activity, we have favorite movies or tv shows in common, such as The Office. However, I'm the one who basically pushed on the location, so I'm leaving the activity up to him. Maybe having a sense of control in the situation might ease some anxieties on his part; I'm doing my best to be considerate.
Actually, of the handful of simple ideas I gave him today, my last two actually seemed to jump out to him most, compared to my first ones. Attached below is kind of the check list that I am organizing, so I can keep easy track of the progress Jay and I are making.
Location: Hanging out at my place- Activity: _TBD_
- Considering:
- Napping together (simple, low pressure)
- Sex (More of a joke between us right now)
- Time:
- Day:
- Things to avoid:
- Notes to Britlit:
- Additional details:
In fact, Jay actually said that both were solid ideas, it doesn't have to be something that requires verbally communicating the entire time. That is the type of thing that we can ease into, it's going to take time to figure out our dynamic, whether as friends, or more than.
As far as the Jay side goes, that really is the only update at this point, maybe over the next couple of days there will be certain progress made in terms of hang-out plans!
As far as the C.B. side of things goes, I'm not really sure what to make of him right now. He's nearing the final weeks of the semester and work is going to pick up, he has a job (If I recall accurately), and has little time to relax and be with his friends. But there is a part of me right now, that really thinks he was either playing a joke on me about not wanting casual; or the whole no-sex-right-away thing is a deal-breaker.
Either way, I am still giving him whatever space he might want, or need, if anything it gives me a little time to start working through this complicated triangle I ended up in. Jay and I seem most likely to start figuring things out first, so I will put my focus onto us for right now, and just see what happens. There is more uncertainty on Jay's part than on C.B's, so having that space makes it easier on me, to make sure I don't end up hurting Jay in all this. Because even if Jay and I don't pursue a relationship, I fully intend for him to always be in my life, even as my closest friend; most important person period.
On the other hand, if C.B. were the one who wanted to figure things out right away, it would be a little more of a challenge to me, to avoid hurting Jay. At least when we've been talking, he seemed very certain of where things would go, and it almost sounded like if we went out, we'd label it right off the bat. That can be an exaggeration, given things were said through text, and you know how that goes. If that were the case, I'd be fine with it, because I like C.B. that way, but it's the letting the other guy down, that sucks. Especially when I've come to know and care for him like this.
Right now, however, I am going to focus on me, and Jay. We are about to be given our opportunity to figure us out, to uncomplicate our complicated. Stay tuned over the next couple of days.
As always thanks for reading (if you're reading this lol), and for your support!
Yours truly,
Britlit L.A.
No comments:
Post a Comment